Friday, April 30, 2004

"Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die." - Anne Lamott

I love this quote. Mike Cope printed it recently in his blog. Anne Lamott wrote Traveling Mercies. If you haven't had a chance to read it, pick up a copy. It's a rather irreverent story of her coming to faith. She was completely lost and into drugs and you name it. She heard music coming from a small little church and wondered in and that's where she began to feel God chasing her. It's a wonderful book.

The quote speaks to many things happening in my world right now. I find myself often perplexed by an unwillingness I see in people to reconcile. I admit my own failures in this area. Sheryl and I sat with Stephen last night and talked about reconciliation. Here are some interesting definitions of "reconciliation" and "reconcile" I found:
1. Restoration to harmony
2. Removal of inconsistency, harmony
3. Synonym--atonement
4. To settle or resolve
5. To make compatible or consistent
6. To bring together, unite
7. To cause to be friendly again

It can be so tempting at times to halt reconciliation in our lives. Forgiveness (if there is such a thing apart from reconciliation) can even seem easier than reconciling at times. As we talked last night about church work and people who can sometimes get in our craw, (whatever that means--my aunt used to always say that. It scares me a little, frankly!!) I kept finding myself struggling with the flesh and the Spirit.

You know, every single message we get in the world today reaffirms our "rights". "You deserve a break today", "Have it your way", "You deserve the best", "Why settle for less?", Loreal's "I deserve it!", Bon Jovi's "It's My Life", Heart's "Even It Up" all speak to this (and this is only a very tiny example). We get into conflict and it's no wonder that we feel the temptation to defend our rights. There are cases where that's a healthy thing to do, but most often we resort to what we hear from the world to guide us in conflict resolution with each other.

We have been reconciled to God. What in the world??? That is truly the most unbelievable thought. So, how in the world could we ever, ever say we have the right to not reconcile with each other? I was convicted last night of a couple of situations where people have been ugly or adversarial over the long haul. There's that part of me that feels like I have the right to close the door of fellowship or refuse to continue down the road of reconciliation. Where have I gotten those ideas? Certainly not from scripture! In fact--let's think about Hosea and Gomer. Mercy! God loves us even though we continue to "whore" (excuse the reference--but it's in the Bible!). What about the parable Jesus told of the ungrateful servant who was forgiven all debts and then went and demanded that those who owed him "pay up"?

No, this is a Kingdom Upside-down. We gave up our rights to have it our way when we embraced the cross and agreed to die to ourselves. I kept trying to think of a situation when it seemed ok--even the most horrible. The more I thought, the more I realized there is nothing that can compare to what we did to the Ancient of Days. Our sins brought punishment and pain beyond our imagination. He DIED for us! We are RECONCILED to Him! How could we ever stand and say we have a right to not reconcile to our brother or sister? It's no wonder we need the cross. It's no wonder we need mercy and grace. We are so stubborn, so difficult. God, in His infinite mercy, gave up His only Son so that we might experience life. Why, then, would we choose death?

Lord, give us all the strength to be brought back into harmony today with each other. Give us a heart that transcends the messages we are bombarded with here. Show us what it means to truly die to ourselves and take up our cross and follow you. We are weak, Lord. We need Your help. We cry out for You to have patience with our learning curves. They are overwhelming at times. You are all powerful and all healing. Give us grace to be more like Jesus.

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