BST's Blog

I can't believe it's already after lunch. I don't know how to even capture what today has held so far--not to mention that it's barely half way over.

I had a great walk at Radnor Lake with Don Finto this morning. Don has been one of those Spiritual mentor/ heroes for me. I can't write all we talked about today--there isn't enough time, but as usual, I came out of there with some GOLDEN nuggets. Don was telling me some of the things he has discussed with Smitty about music and calling and asked me what thing causes me to feel like I am operating right in the center of my calling. I told him that when I am leading worship and involved in worship related pastoring and teaching I feel like I am doing what I was created to do. As we talked about busyness, he asked me what things in my life were utterly dependent on my doing them. It was a good question--one I've thought of before. However, a reality hit me as I thought about it. The first thing and maybe the only thing that is really true of is--being a dad and a husband. Beyond those things we discussed ministry related passions, but that definitely impacted me. Don also used an analogy that I want to share with you. (excuse the crass nature of this) In marriage, intimacy leads to sex and sex usually leads to babies. The irony is--a lot of times babies tend to dampen sex and intimacy. (You married folks relate) Don said that ministry can be that way too. Often times intimacy with the Lord leads to ministry and ministry can sometimes squash intimacy with the Lord. I may not be wording this clearly, but it resonated with me. Often times we busy ourselves with ministry to such a degree that we forget the object of our passions. Some of us know those who almost worship ministry over God. Some of us are those people. It's easy to get it all mixed up. I found that extremely convicting today.

I had lunch with a brother afterwards who has been reading McLarin and wanted to discuss. Coming off of meetings about our "post-modern" service, and wrestlings about how to do church better, I am in a place today of realizing that whether we meet in an ancient temple, a beautiful chapel, a warehouse, a cave, a dimly lit sanctuary with lots of candles or a shot-gun style Church of Christ with no windows, the church will always be comprised of fallen people. Our systems, in and of themselves, are fallen. God has chosen to glorify Himself through us--amazing! I don't think Jesus ever meant for all of our time and energies to be spent on how to "nail" worship or have the perfect church. It seems like He was more about relational things. He ate in the homes of tax collectors and "sinners". He touched people. He talked with people who were supposed to be off limits. He answered religious questions with relational and Spiritual stories or questions. How much are we doing that? Are we more concerned with finding new and innovative ways than we are with intimacy with the Lord? (Just questions here, don't freak on me) Or--will we allow the intimate times with the Lord to spill out in the ways we love people. Jesus said--LOVE GOD (all--heart, soul, mind, strength) and LOVE PEOPLE. Are we doing that? Scratch that--am I doing that??

Today has been such an incredible day of "chewing". I really feel the Lord working on my heart. It's one of those good kinds of growing pains. I am not what I will be--but, praise the Lord--I am not what I was. The sovereignty of the Lord--who can fathom? The beauty of His ways--who can comprehend it fully? The intricate workings of His will and His plan--who can predict? The power, the glory, the fullness, the holiness, the purity, the LOVE, the timelessness of the Lord--who can even begin to grapple with these things?

O, Lord, You are beautiful beyond description. There aren't human words to describe your matchless name. You not only give us love, You ARE love. You're not just love-ing--You ARE love. Unbelievable! Indescribable! The matchless name of Jesus! Hallelujah! Father bring glory to Yourself through these weak vessels. Use us, mold us, transform us, fill us. Help us truly embrace all that You are.