Monday, July 26, 2004

Thank you all for your encouragement. Today is a new day.

Maddie, Ella, Sheryl and I played a while this morning before Maddie and I went to the office for a bit so I could listen to an mp3 of the last song to be mixed. Afterwards, we played at McDonalds for a while. I must say that I have had this love/hate relationship with the golden arches. Their french fries used to rock, until we all found out they killed people at the age of 25. Now, after the documentary, SUPERSIZE ME, came out I can hardly stand to eat there. However, recently I discovered their most excellent grilled chicken sandwich and apples. Go Mickey D's!

Maddie is a funny girl. Karin Hensley handed down this very nice red corduroy Christmas dress with Christmas trees and things stitched on the front. For some reason a few days ago Maddie found it and refuses to take it off. She sleeps in it--CORDUROY--plays in it, puts her Disney costumes on OVER it...it's ridiculous.

There are some folks very dear to me going through some difficult things in their marriages. Three couples I care deeply about are on the verge of divorce. I hate it when things like this hit all at once...and to people we love. Tim said some great things yesterday about habits. We are creatures of habit. We get in the habit of saying certain things or nothing at all to our spouse. We can, if we're not careful, slowly let the flame flicker. Who knew back in our 20's that it would be so easy to allow that to happen? Watching some of what is happening around me has made me so grateful again to be married to Sheryl. We have our faults and issues, for sure, like everyone. But, God has given us so much and we are trying to remember that as we love each other every day. Maybe we should all commit today to telling our mate exactly what we feel--without letting them assume we love them or adore them. Let's tell them and show them! Some of us just need to start the conversation and see what happens. Satan is the great deceiver. He would love for us all to blow off times like that thinking it's too cheesy or unnecessary.

What ways are you finding that work in expressing your love and devotion to your spouse?

7 comments:

william said...

ourpastor talks of loving God more and more
each day, in spontaneous, creative way.somethingnew
think this translates to the marriage as well,new dress
new song, new picture,mixing the oldschool with
the new school,learning to relate in a different
way,change

Tim Castle said...

OUCH! Hey, brother, those are my toes you're stepping on!

Taking care of Nina is probably one of my biggest struggles. Even after 13 years of marriage (this coming August 17th!), I'm still learning how to listen to her, converse with her, and express my love in ways beyond saying, "I love you." The two of us have very different "love languages," and it takes a LONG time to learn that more than speaking your spouse's language, you have to learn to think in their language to really reach their heart. It's very tough for me, especially since I can be very self-absorbed a lot of the time.

Thanks for the remind, Brandon!

Clarissa said...

Well, Rob's not that hard to please, but one thing I've found that particularly uplifts him is when I compliment him to OTHER people and he knows about it. Blogging, for example. If he knows he means enough to me that I want to tell others about him, that makes his whole week.
Actually being nice and not snapping at him all the time helps, too (duh.) Marriage is not an easy road -- but if people could just open their eyes and look around and see the bigger picture, that would help so much. Marriage is not always a fun thing, but it is a commitment! You are a family if you're married, and families aren't supposed to just throw unsatisfactory members by the wayside. Husbands fail! Wives fail! Sometimes, horribly! But almost anything can be forgiven and moved past if people can think of their spouse instead of themselves, and think of pleasing God above all.
Oh, well, easy to preach when I'm not going through it. But I've been through it, and there is sheer joy on the other side. Satan doesn't want you to get there, but God does ...

Mae said...

I was looking through a cookbook for tonight's supper (which my husband will cook), I found this and thought it was appropriate to share:
Recipe For Preserving A Husband ~ Be careful of your selection. Do not choose too young. When once selected, give your entire thought to preperation for domestic use. Some insist on keeping them in a pickle, other constantly getting them in hot water. This makes them sour, hard and sometimes bitter. Even poor varities may be made sweet, tender and good by garnishing them with patience, well sweetened with love and seasoned with kisses. Wrap them in a mantle of charity. Keep warm with a steady fire of domestic devotion and serve with peaches and cream. Thus prepared, they will keep for years.
I'd also like to add that it goes both ways. We've only been married for three years and I am constantly learning how to be a more selfless, giving wife. It's a learning process that we are going through together, and I believe that may be the key (one of them anyway)!

SG said...

I too have two good friends divorcing. One I have seen coming, one totally shocked me. Both are situations are heartbreaking. Both involve children the same age as my children. Both seem silly and sensless. BUT marriage is hard. I think divorce will be harder with none of the benefits!

This is a quote from Gary Thomas's Sacred Marriage pg 42 "That's what marriage is for-- to teach us how to love."

There are days I really don't like this Sacred Marriage book! At times I wish I had not read it because it is impossible to deny it's truthes and even harder to face the many ways it has convicted me in my marriage. Marriage is hard even when you are married to a Prince of a guy like I am!

Rob is as good as they come, but we still have our issues. I guess part of a healthy marriage is realizing it is not supposed to be easy. BUT my goodness, I would hate to think of living a day without being Rob's wife!

Brandon Scott said...

Mae--
That was awesome! Thanks!
BST

Amy W said...

Isn't odd-- and sad-- that we often treat complete strangers or mere acquaintances better than our spouse? We become so comfortable with each other that we begin to take that special bond for granted.

Scott is my best friend, but we still have our moments--me more than him! He is fond of saying "We just need to out nice each other!" A good plan that should motivate us to watch what we say and how we act towards one another.

The longer we are married the more we realize that the ONLY way we will make it is if we both stay dedicated to Christ. In most of the marriages we know that are in trouble-- and don't we all know couples who are on the verge of divorce?!-- the main issue is that one or both of the spouses aren't "happy."

To me this is always a red flag-- God never called us to happiness or promised us happiness.... His promise is JOY, a fruit of His Spirit in us. Happiness is all about self and is Satan's best tool for destroying a marriage. He convinces us that if we just look somewhere else we will be fulfilled and find happiness. The truth is that JOY can only be found in Christ!