BST's Blog

Thank you to those of you who have called or emailed me in response to recent blog entries. I have probably sounded cryptic, jaded, or even just face down. Truth is, some days have really been like that. The thing that really keeps me going is my sincere belief that the spiritual life is a journey. The destination is becoming like Jesus and so we know that we will never lose our humanity or imperfections until we get Home. If you're in a valley right now, the good news is it won't last forever. If you're on a mountain top right now, the same holds true. Life is a journey. There are valleys and peaks, but it's more about how we walk through them and how we choose to camp.

I firmly believe there are things that God is trying to teach me through this. I just need to have the energy to hear Him. Sometimes I believe that even when we don't have the energy to listen, He implants things in our hearts where we can understand them. And then...sometimes you just have to climb off the safari truck that's going 100mph and rest for a while. This is where I am and what I'm considering.

Thanksgiving 1999...Kiki, Lindsey, Sheryl and I set off from Nashville around 7pm heading towards Arkansas. We stopped to get Wendy's and then we laughed and talked for about an hour and a half. At that point it was time to turn off on a smaller road that would carry us the next 3-4 hours across rural Tennessee, Missouri and into northern Arkansas. It had been a long day for everyone--tying up loose ends and trying to get out of town. But, I like driving. I like being in control. :) As we cruised down the highway everyone settled in and it seemed almost in one split second everyone was asleep--almost like narcolepsy! I remember blinking really hard to try and stay awake. The next thing I knew Sheryl was screaming and we were heading off the side of the road. I tried to get control but over compensated and we began to spin on the highway. We took out a road sign and began careening down the embankment toward a fence. We hit this very dense, square pole and the air bags went off. I was in shock, my hand was burning from the airbags. Lindsey who was sitting in the back seat without a seat belt had hit the back of the drivers seat so hard that her front teeth cut through the leather and her teeth we shoved back up into the roof of her mouth. There was blood everywhere. Everyone else was uninjured, thankfully, although extremely shaken. A man who had been driving behind us and saw everything unfold had already called 911. Soon we heard the ambulance. They took Lindsey to the hospital and a VERY gracious man gave up his night before Thanksgiving to come in and perform oral surgery. It was one AWFUL night.

For years after that night as we've traveled back and forth I always get a chill when we come upon that place in the road. I think about how grateful I am that everyone is ok now. I think about the car that was totaled. I think about how completely horrible I felt. I remember trying to go to sleep for days after that and every time I'd start to drift off I'd wake up with a start...remembering what happened when I went to sleep in the car.

Sometimes I think life is like that. We get tired or exhausted and continue on at break-neck speed, expecting to make it through. God created Sabbath for a reason. I have tried to honor that, but don't do a great job. The moral to the car story is...sometimes when you're tired, you must rest. If you don't you could get hurt or even hurt others! Rest is so important. Quieting our hearts is critical. Refueling is essential to the Christian walk--and even more so in ministry.

That's where I am. I'm talking with friends, mentors, and counselors about how best to approach it, but I have become fully aware of my need to not just stop for a bathroom break--but to stop and maybe set up camp for a few weeks. I'm really thankful for the men and women in my life who are speaking words of truth to me and words of encouragement. I am one blessed dude.

I see this time as really important and know that I am learning things--whether seen or not--that will change me for the better along the journey. AND--I am grateful for men like Scott, Steve, Bill, Tim, Stephen, Craig, Chris, Kyle, Jeff, and others who are walking with me. God is good!