Friday, March 12, 2004

"O Love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in Thee. I give Thee back the life I owe, that in Thine ocean depths its flow may richer, fuller be."

I have always loved that song. The melody line is haunting to me. The harmonies are so beautiful! All that aside, it's the lyric that really sticks with me. I remember singing it at church growing up. I had no context, really, for the power of those lyrics. As a college student, I lost my father to cancer and some of my favorite singers in the world sang a beautiful arrangement of it at his funeral. I haven't forgotten it over 12 years later. That experience gave me more of a context for those powerful words. It gave me hope about what life means and that our lives are ultimately found in Him.

However, I must say that it's only in recent days that I feel these lyrics have come to mean even more to me. As a minister/ worship leader/ producer/ father/ husband/ son/ friend (not in that order), I find myself consumed in busyness. I find "rest" ellusive. The thought of a sabbatical is akin to winning the lottery. Remembering a time when "quiet times" came easily--even naturally, when life seemed less of a blur, I find myself wondering how all these balls got into their juggling positions. It's in this season that these lyrics mean even more to me. I was struck this morning with the reality that if I want true rest, it's only found in learning to fully embrace the "zoe" life that Jesus spoke of. When He said he came to give life and life in abundance, he didn't use the word that meant physical life. He used the word "zoe", which means Spiritual life. That's what I really want. Until I can lay down the allure of this life and say, "I lay in dust, LIFE'S glory dead" I will never experience the fullness of what He offers. In the death of our will and personal glory we gain "life that shall endless be". Praise the Lord! Praise Him for not letting me go- even as I struggle to learn these important lessons.

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