BST's Blog

Another beautiful San Diego morning! What a glorious creation we enjoy! This time has been good with my brothers--a time of refreshment and retreat. The conversations have been filled with purpose and spiritual encouragement. Each of us is in full time worship ministry. Jeff Berry travels and leads for many events and churches with his band. He also leads the Grace Bible Study in Abilene with around 1500 college students each week. Rich Smith works with Levi Ministries and travels leading worship and consulting with churches. He came last summer and did our music ministry retreat. Stephen Bailey, my long time friend and college roommate, is about to go into full time paid ministry. Although he has been doing ministry for years, he recently sold his share in his TV/Film special effects company and decided to work for a church. We have all come needing encouragement and filling.

While these few days have been wonderful, I still wrestle with how to provide true spiritual feeding and renewal for others and for me. Sometimes at ZOE during the leadership conference I feel like there are a lot of talking heads and some definite encouragement, but many times I leave feeling like there was so much more that could have happened. I am dealing with that this morning. While the 6 ACTS conference in Dallas that I have attended for the last 5 years has been awesome, I felt like I needed something different this year. I am not sure I have stumbled upon the difference yet. There's so much stirring in me. There are so many things happening at Otter Creek and in ZOE that have caused incredible inward stress. I wonder, many days, how long I can keep this pace. I head back to face even more stressful situations over the next couple of months. I want my strength to come from the Lord. I have felt like my fuel has been fleshly fuel lately. It leaves me exhausted. One thing I do carry home with me, however, is the conviction of choosing wisely. I must choose my family. I must choose the things that God is fueling me to conquer. Anything else will only eventually lead me to burn out. My prayers today are for wisdom and Godly insight as I evaluate those areas of my life.

I trust You, Lord, to speak clearly. You know that my ears need to be unclogged. Speak so clearly to me that there is no mistaking Your voice. You promised me in John that as a sheep of Yours I would not only hear Your voice but be able to discern it from that of the enemy. I claim that promise today.