BST's Blog

I got back from TX last night. It was a difficult trip. I am so, SO grateful to have been able to go (thanks, Steve!) and I know that God had His hand in getting me there. Seeing people you love in such deep pain stinks. That's just the truth.

Craig drove in from Ft. Worth and picked me up at the airport and we headed straight to the church for visitation. We walked into the family life center and there had to be at least 1000 people there. We could barely squeeze in. We immediately saw Alan Brown who took us right to Stephen and Stephanie. We just hugged and cried. It was so good to finally get to hug them.

The line wrapped and curled around the inside of the building. For THREE hours people waited in line to hug and cry with Tod and Lee Ann. It was incredible to watch. Tod and Lee Ann were focused on each person and really were ministering to THEM. Incredible.

Craig and I congregated with Stephen, Stephanie, and other members of the Brown and Bailey families and laughed and cried and were just present with each other. David and Kendra Needham were there too. It was so good to see them. I got to hug and talk to Hutton and Reagan (Connor's brothers). Bailey didn't get to come to the visitation but she did make it to the funeral in a wheel chair and looked amazing considering all she's been through.

Craig, Stephen and I got to share a meal together late that night. We sat around the table like we have done so many times over the last 19 years. (We missed you, Chris!) I thought as we sat there about how RICH I feel in Kingdom relationships. I have been blessed with more than my fair share. I know that the older we get, the more we'll have to deal with and walk through together. But--what a GIFT from God to have brothers and sisters to share life with.

The funeral Monday was impossible to describe. That very large sanctuary was packed with people sent to overflow seating. George Rowe played the piano and sang beautifully. He also wrote and sang a song about Connor called "Held". Kevin Riggs led us in powerful worship, the tributes were moving and heart wrenching...perfect for such a Godly young man. The sight of Connor's picture up front just made us keep asking the question...what are we doing? Could this be real?

Afterwards, we filed out hugging and crying with the Browns and Baileys. It seemed impossible that this was actually happening. But, the stories of Connor echoed in my heart. He was a young man who loved God, loved people, and wanted to serve others. He was so mature for being 13.

It was hard to say goodbye to Stephen. It was difficult to get out of Craig's car at the airport. Sometimes in times like this you just want to huddle near. But, as we all head back to our families and lives, I think we are forever shaped in some ways by this experience. Each day is a gift. What will we do with it? God is good. His transforming love knows no boundaries. Rich, poor, young, and old...we're all being chased by that Love. I saw it alive and well in Midland, TX.