Most of you know that I am in the middle of a leave of absence from Otter Creek. I have also taken some time off of ZOE...time for reflection, renewal, and rest. As I always do on this blog, I have written about certain things and chosen not to write about others. And, as is always the case, I like writing about family time.
Make no mistake, this time has been very intense. I have found myself unraveling months, even years, of compensating for things I haven't had or made time to do. Most important in that category is quiet reflection. I have had a lot of time alone. To be honest, I've found it difficult to detox. To be honest, I'm processing through some things that I've put off over the last couple of years. But, having said that, some of that processing is best kept between my family, close friends and mentors.
At some point I will blog about it. For now, I am being fed by being quiet. I'm being fed by close relationships. I'm being blessed by reflection and reading. Meanwhile, I will not be posting pictures of me looking dour or reflective. Life goes on at our house. I just wanted to give a little update just in case, by some crazy notion, anyone out there thought that my leave of absence was all zoos and birthday parties.
There is a lot of processing going on with me. I have seen friends from church who have asked me if I'm having fun. I know that what my friends and a lot of my fellow Otter Creekers want is for this time to be full of refreshment. It's hard to answer the question about fun. I am definitely having fun seeing more of my family. I'm not sorry for that. I'm enjoying having time away from the hamster wheel that my mind sometimes slips into. But fun? I'd say that some people really love processing. Some people really enjoy facing issues and deficiencies head-on. I am not that guy. A lot of this time has been extremely difficult for me. It's something I hope to write about at some point.
I know many of you have prayed for me and maybe even wondered why I haven't written more about this time off. I so greatly appreciate your prayers. Just keep them coming. Being molded by the Potter is often-times difficult, but always beneficial for Life.
Friday, May 12, 2006
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9 comments:
Interesting that yesterday I actually commented that I was "glad to see you having some fun." My sense has been that this time of reflection has been anything but, and it was nice to see you relaxing with friends.
The problem with sabbaticals is that we are so inexperienced with them. Church leaderships don't believe in them (kudos to your Elders for agreeing to this) and church members don't understand them, so people like you feel trapped. We've seen the results for years in broken marriages, pornography addictions, drug problems and other secret forms of escape used by pastors. And we're always shocked when that happens?
I'm proud of you for doing whatever it takes to do what is best for your family. Now, post some pictures of yourself in sackcloth and ashes so I'll really believe you're doing something spiritual!
I am sure this time is beneficial. As an executive, I am a firm believer in R&R. Use this time to refresh, while keeping in mind that your calling and your abilities are important to the brotherhood. Our church is in the process of incorporating a praise team because of your music! Time off is productive and necessary. Time off where one spends too much time thinking about insurmountable challenges and problems leads to Prozac. You are blessed to hold this job and have the influence you and ZOE have within (I hope this is still not a dirty word) the Church of Christ.
I am so glad that you are taking this time. I have been listening to this song so much lately and it makes me think of you and what you are doing. Find this whole CD and listen to the words somewhere quiet...you will love it...Bebo Norman's Try.
This song is called...
Disappear
On a day like this I want to crawl beneath a rock
A million miles from the world, the noise, the commotion
That never seems to stop
And on a day like this I want to run from the routine
Run away from the daily grind that can suck the life
Right out of me
I know of only one place I can run to
Chorus:
I want to hide in You
The Way, the Life, the Truth
So I can disappear
And love is all there is to see
Coming out of me
And You become clear
As I disappear
I don't want to care about earthly things
Be caught up in all the lies that trick my eyes
They say it's all about me
I'm so tired of it being about me
I would rather be cast away
Separated from the human race
If I don't bring You glory
If I don't bring You glory
If I don't bring You glory
Brandon, you are bringing glory to the name of God and your rest is bringing glory to the name of God. God modeled rest for us and yet we have such a hard time going there. Find peace.
love you, Julie
Can I just say that I love, love, love that you are doing this? I think it's wonderful and I think you are setting a good example. You are so humble in your words here. You don't have to share all the deep stuff that you are uncovering here. I'm just glad to know that this time off is beneficial to you. Whether you're laughing or crying or being silent or screaming at the top of your lungs, this is good for you and for your family and for your church family.
Okay, I want to say "rest in peace", but that's not exactly the right terminology now is it? Sorry! I was just trying to figure out how to say "rest" and do so with peace. Maybe rest with peace of mind??
Ok I can't relate but I can. When I started staying home full time with Kolby, everyone asked me if I was having fun. I was of course having fun with a new baby but fun wasn't the word I would use to describe staying home. It was hard to adjust to not working in a job where I got paid, but still working, always. And mentally it was a bit of a challenge becasue I had to exercise alot of discipline to get things done and definegoals differently. It's overwhelming to be faced with so much time that is only structured by you. AND I too had been in the rat race for so long that I had some life things to process. I'm not saying I would have had it any other way, still wouldn't, but it was not all FUN. So I don't understand exactly what you are saying, but I do. :) Blessings to you on the journey! And PLEASE don't think you have to explain it to everyone. People will think what they think. You know you are doing the right thing and that is enough. Although, a sack cloth and ashes picture might be fun! :)
And there are more people praying for you than you realize. Probably a LOT more. For you. By name.
We love you, brother.
Just reread that comment. Though it doesn't make perfect sense..I somehow think you understand. If not, just consider the source! Love you guys!:)
BST
I am kinda' on my own journey right and am reading a book that I wanted to recommend. I know that our book lists are all too long and sometimes time and desire do not match the list. But, this one is both a reflection and a practical how to. It is called Armchair Mystic by Thibodeaux and it is really ministering to me.
Praying for you Brother. You have NO IDEA how much you are ministering to me (and probably many others) even as you're "on sabbatical". For example -
I was having a very bad day today. Well, to be honest, I've been having a bad month, but I digress. So...I was sitting at work, dreading all the work before me and trying to figure out how to leave early and go home to sleep for the rest of the day. And then I remembered that I had "Desperate" in my bag. I put it there about two weeks ago, planning to listen to it at work that day, but never got around to it. So I popped it into my CD player, put on the headphones, and God starting working on me.
It was like this CD was made especially for me - right where I was TODAY. Songs of encouragment. Songs of praise sung in the middle of a storm. Songs reminding me that Jesus is still Lord and that He will love me Forever. I cannot tell you how much this music changed my day.
So...bless you Brandon. May God continue His work in you and through you as you rest in Him.
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