Finally! Something That Makes Sense!

I read this article today after a friend from Highland posted it on Facebook. As I read it, I felt my heart just about to burst with excitement. This right here is gospel. There was a lot of fighting over whether or not to eat a chicken sandwich a few months ago. It was polarizing. Finally....something that seemed so impossible begins to find the Light. I love Dan for this...and I appreciate Shane for opening his heart to Dan. We have a lot to learn from these men. What if churches responded more like this?
read here

I pray that God will break down walls and that the Spirit would fill us up with His perspective as we all try hard to love each other. Be encouraged, blog family!

I Cannot Stay Silent

What a week this has been! And all over a fried piece of chicken and some waffle fries. However, if we step back a minute and look at the events of this week, it's pretty easy to see that in the end, the issue is not the issue. It's kind of like in marital counseling when a couple comes in who is at an impasse over a certain issue. Upon further examination or after a little digging you realize that the issues underneath "the issue" are really fueling the problem.

I have watched as Facebook went CRAZY this week with convicted people on both sides hurling insults, accusations, generalizations, etc. Then, interestingly, after the issues grew and morphed, many tried to come back and say...this is only about Dan Cathey's right to free speech. (As an aside, I support Dan's rights and his faith. I believe that he sincerely shared his heart and then his comments were used to fuel a war...for both left and right.) 

Here's where this all gets sticky. Yes, on some level this all began with Dan's right to share...which was not helped by the dumb mayors of Chicago and Boston. But it didn't end there.  And, unfortunately, the LGBT community weren't the only ones who made a big stink about it (as some have said). I'd say the responsibility went both ways. The religious right took all of this and used it just as much as the other side. And, perception is reality...especially when it comes to the way we love the LGBT community.

Whether we like it or not, this has turned into a we vs. they kind of deal. I wish you guys could be privy to my inbox today and the heart-wrenching conversations I've had with people...all who feel so hurt and angry over the hubbub yesterday...people who struggle, friends of people who struggle, parents of kids who struggle...all feeling so frustrated, hurt, irritated, etc. It may have started out to be about civil liberties but isn't it funny how when it's YOUR civil liberties in question it feels justifiable to rant?  

The bridges to the LGBT community have been blown to Hell so many times (and I mean that literally) by well-intentioned Christians that it's barely able to be navigated anymore. We have such a LONG way to go in communicating love to that community and we are at such a deficit with them already that anything that smacks of us against them is hurtful...even under the most innocent of motives. 

I am attaching a link here that has been widely circulated and as Lynn Anderson has said, is one of the most thoughtful responses to this whole event. Chic-Fil-A entry 

I know Brent Bailey well. He is a Godly man who is struggling with his own brokenness and desires and who wants to live a life that is pleasing to God (as we all hope to). He never chose to feel the things he feels. He's merely seeking to know how to honor God as he works out all of those things. Imagine being in his shoes and reading posts like the ones that "well meaning" Christians have posted over the last 24 hours. No wonder so many people in the LGBT community won't set their feet anywhere near a church building. 

Dan Cathey had a right to say what he did and I appreciate greatly his faith. But when forces outside his control took it over...on both sides...the issue was no longer the issue...no matter what we may think. And we, as true followers of God who are called to deeper things MUST learn to respond in love. Always. So, the arguments now about how this is not about gay people...it's about religious liberties...don't mean a lot to me. I think it WAS about that in the beginning, but it morphed. (And not only because of rantings by the LGBT community...Christians too.) 

I deeply and profoundly appreciate my religious freedom, but I would always hope I could stand up for a person OVER my own freedom. It doesn't mean if you ate at Chic-Fil-A that you're bad...heck, I love their food! It just means that sometimes we have to take a deep breath and realize there is more at play here and that precious, precious souls are watching...waiting...wondering how the faith community will react. When already so wounded by churches, the lines are too easy to cross and it's OUR responsibility to discern those.

Starting Conversations--and Stopping Them

I am borrowing today's post from my good friend Sally Gary who is the fearless leader of a ministry named CenterPeace. The goal of CenterPeace is to provide a place at the table for everyone to come to know the love of Christ...a safe place. This is a post Sally wrote this week. 

I’ve ‘listened’ to a lot of the conversations on Facebook, the blogs, the editorials written in response to the North Carolina election last week. And President Obama’s endorsement of marriage rights for same-sex couples.

 I have friends on both ends of the spectrum.

 Both sides say hurtful things, sincerely believing they’re standing up for what’s right, not realizing how hurtful it is.

As a woman who experiences same-sex attraction and wrestles with reconciling faith in God and what he wants for my life in the midst of struggling with those feelings, I can tell you that this is not a black and white issue. As someone who talks with men and women and their families from all over the world who are wrestling with the same questions, I can assure you there are no easy answers.

 Perhaps we need to focus on what we really want to accomplish by those conversations.

 To convey the love of Christ.

 To create opportunities for deeper dialogue, deeper insight, deeper understanding.

Which does that more – stating our beliefs about an issue or really getting involved in the lives of men and women who are that issue? Telling you what I think or listening to the journey you’ve been on to bring you to this place in your life?

When I wrestle with these questions, what’s been most helpful to me is to have a place where I’m safe to say what I’m thinking without judgment, without reaction that causes me to shut down – to stop expressing my own feelings because I see that it’s upsetting to the other person. In order for me to really be able to sort through my own feelings, I need someone who will simply listen and love me right where I am, no matter what.

 That has helped me more than anything.

My fear is that these comments – in the absence of deep, ongoing, meaningful relationships – are divisive and serve no other purpose but to shut down opportunities for further conversation. And for building those life-altering relationships.

 Relationships that remind me of who I am.

What if, instead of spending all this time and energy fighting against something, we invested in discovering as much as we can about what’s underneath? What if we spent all our vast resources trying to learn as much as we can from the men and women who experience same-sex attraction – of listening to the struggle, the pain, the confusion, the torment within those of us who have wrestled with these feelings for a lifetime?

My heart goes out to my brothers and sisters whose stories remain unheard. Some of these men and women have embraced a gay identity, some have not. Many are still sitting in the pews of churches believing homosexuality is contrary to God’s will for their lives, but finding themselves in an utterly miserable place of being deeply attracted to someone of the same sex, and at the same time, deeply committed to God.

 Isolated.

 Alone.

 Terrified of someone finding out.

 Precious souls who are faithful Christ-followers, truly desirous of living the lives of holiness they believe God has called them to, and yet, because of the shame fueled by comments like those made over the last week, they are unable to even claim same-sex attraction as a struggle. Within their families. Among their closest friends. With their ministers.

 Because they’ve heard the things we’ve said in love.

Women and men in their 60s and 70s who are still afraid to speak up.

College students at our Christian universities.

We’re in your pews. In your classes. In your social clubs. Majoring in ministry.

Because we love the Lord. And we love our church families. But we’re terrified to tell you.

Because we’ve read the comments you write on Facebook.

We listen to the things you say from the pulpit. In the van on mission trips. At the supper table.

And we’re paying close attention to how you react to the gay characters on television. It’s time to learn how to talk about homosexuality. It’s time to explore what’s underneath, instead of only paying attention to what’s most obvious. Well-intentioned, precious hearts want to make this right by making it okay – while other well-intentioned, equally precious hearts want to demonize it as the sin above sins. The latter is most obvious in its harm, but what if the former is lacking as well?

What if this really is a far more complex question than we’ve ever imagined – or been willing to adequately investigate?

What if, instead of fighting a political battle that just causes more hurt feelings and isolation, we focused all of our attention and energy to discovering the real underlying issues? What if, instead of taking a defensive posture against an ideology with which we disagreed, we sought sincerely to better understand where people are coming from?

What if we didn’t just talk about the need to do something, but really started doing it?

Meanwhile, kids are still growing up confused about who they really are. And we create graphics about marriage being between a man and a woman.

*I want to thank Sally for letting me publish this. We in the church world have a huge task of love in front of us. It's much easier to sit back and point fingers and decide where to draw lines. God loves beyond lines and barriers. He reaches beyond them...seeking, befriending, sacrificing himself. Will you?