BST's Blog

11:30am (central standard time):
Some people call them serendipities. I call them God reminders. This morning I got to the airport super early to try and catch a morning flight to Fresno. For some reason, Eric had booked me on a later flight that got into Fresno around 12:30am my time. No thank you! Thankfully, there was room on the early flight so I flew standby.

As I walked towards security I saw an old friend, Michael Mellett. He had missed his early morning flight and we discovered we were flying on the same flight to Dallas. Michael and I became friends back in the day. (old people say that.) When I came out to Nashville while attending ACU to intern for Reunion Records, Michael was just starting out too. We both were involved at Belmont Church in the college group. Michael had a hunger for music and worship. That guy has truly made an impact on the music industry. He's produced, arranged, and toured with people like Billy Joel, Avalon, Point of Grace, etc. (any complex vocal arrangement you hear from the likes of Avalon or POG is thanks to him.) He leads worship now at Belmont and is flying out to Dallas to work with the singers from the Women of Faith conference. He produced their last few records.

Michael and I seemed to both be on the same kind of personal trajectory. We married later, and we have proceeded to have our kids all around the same time. I found out this morning they are expecting a girl about a month before our Sam is due. CRAZY!

We had a great hour or so to catch up. He has such a heart for the Lord. He really loves worship. It was encouraging to be fed by that passion as I am on my way to Fresno. He's also a cut up.

I remember flying down to San Antonio with him to sing on one of Max Lucado's projects (I think "God Came Near"). We laughed at the description of what we were supposed to wear. As we recalled it today something like "fun Christmas sweaters". Yes, "fun". Anyway--good times.

Talking to him reminded me of how important it is for worship leaders to stay filled. Sheryl and I used to be better about attending Saturday night services on occasion at Belmont. It was a great way to get fed and be ready to lead the next morning. (and it was a long time before I didn't consider Belmont my true home church in Nashville.) We haven't done that in a very long time. I think we're going to try and go on Jan 29 which is the next time Michael and Fiona lead. For those of you who are worship leaders out there. You know what I mean. It's important to go somewhere different, to be ministered TO, to climb out of your box and experience worship in fresh ways.

This gift today was a "God reminder" that He really does work in our lives. I remember us talking back in 1990--looking incredibly hip in our 80's fashion--and having NO clue what the Lord's plan was for us. He is faithful. Michael reminded me today as we talked about some of these thoughts about desperation. It really boils down to trust. Do we trust the Lord? Do we really trust Him? And not just trust Him to work it for our benefit--but do we trust that He really is Good?

Last night before we went to bed Katie Earles came over. Katie is an Abilene "lifer" like me. She was born and raised. She has felt the burden of grief for the kids in Abilene struggling through Brody's death. She is feeling the distance that I remember so well. It's hard to move away from home, isn't it? I look at Katie and see this long road (like you can only see in West Texas) of a beautiful future that God is laying before her. It's so easy for people in their 30s and over to forget those horrifying days right after college. Sheryl and I are just glad she's in Nashville and we're eager to have front row seats in seeing what God will do through her. Thank you, Lord for sending her our way!

I am sitting in DFW on a layover enjoying the people watching and re-reading some of Dan Kimball's book, Emerging Worship. It is a MUST READ for all ministers out there--not just worship leaders. Guess I'll go grab some Texas BBQ while the getting's good. Have a blessed day!

4:50pm Pacific time
Walking out of the jet way into the Fresno airport brought back a strange feeling. It literally washed over me. Joe Smith. Joe was flooding my entire mind and being.

Last year at this conference he showed up as a surprise to me. He looked terrible. I cried when I saw him and felt terrible immediately for being so negative. We spent some very deep time in conversation that weekend. We both knew without saying anything that we'd never see each other again. Saturday night he finally looked at me as I struggled for words and set my heart at rest by saying, "It's ok, I know what you're thinking. I'm thinking it too and it sucks."

Sunday as we all were leaving, the rest of the group went ahead to our gate and I hung back with Joe as he changed his ticket. There was a lot of awkward hugging and silence. I remember vividly saying goodbye and heading to the gate. I didn't want to be completely morbid, but how do you say goodbye to someone when you think you won't see them again? Sure enough, that was my last face to face interaction with Joe before he went to be with the Lord.

Today as I walked into that familiar airport it all hit me again. It was unexpected. I miss Joe. It's a void. I know his family and friends in Phoenix still feel it too. It's a reminder that every day--every moment is a gift. Let's smile, laugh out loud, hug, share freely, be bold in our faith, and allow the Spirit to use us completely while we're here so that we can be a part of spreading the Kingdom of the Lord. What a gift! I'm so thankful for Joe and the way he encouraged that in me.