Never Once

Today is my 43rd birthday. This picture was taken at my birthday party when I turned 6 years old. Life was so simple. I had all my best friends there around that table. Kyle and Carl Dickson, Paul Phillips, Scott Rogers, Bo Sanford and Kim Lomax...who should get friend points for being the only girl at a boy's birthday party! My father made the cake...as he would do for several more birthdays. I literally remember the moment this picture was taken...like it was yesterday.

Those years were simple...full of love, full of mischief, full of laughter. I am an only child who always wanted siblings. The kids sitting at this table were like siblings to me...most still are. Kyle Dickson (in the ball cap) and I went through ACU together--pledging, Homecoming musicals, Sing Song, homemade movies, trips to Nashville and the Reynolds's house in Fort Worth. He was by my side as my dad laid dying from cancer. He was in my wedding and has been a brother to me for a long time. There are similar stories with other kids around this table.

I loved my childhood. I was blessed with great parents and great friends. But, I don't want to go back. How we all survive life is sometimes a mystery to me. The simple days fade. The laughter is sometimes exchanged for heart-wrenching tears. But, the older I get the more I see how God was with me every step of the way.

In the Old Testament, Joseph had it pretty rough...family deception, kidnapping, jealousy, slavery, prison...then things got better. But it is written through all of it that God was with him. Often, in our Americanized version of Christianity we think that God With Us means all is happy and well. It's the health-wealth gospel that wears me out. We don't often think about how "God With Us" could mean that we actually face trials and things DON'T work out. Cancer isn't healed...that relationship isn't restored...money runs out...a child dies...a job is lost...etc. Sometimes it can feel as if we judge God's presence based on how well things are working out for US.

It's a powerful thought to know that nothing can separate me from the love of Christ. No height, depth, struggle, failure, angel, demon....nothing. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

I praise Him for 43 amazing years full of laughter, tears, victories, defeats, struggles, freedom, my wife Sheryl, friends, loss, hope, arguments, music, Sheryl's singing, the sound of my children's voices, the squeals of joy at Christmas, the tears of my son as he said goodbye to his Paw-Paw (Sheryl's dad), ZOE, Nashville, Abilene, Cruise ships, studios....so much more.

This has become one of my anthems...Matt Redman's "Never Once"

Standing on this mountain top
Looking just how far we've come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You've done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say...

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

The World Is NOT Flat!

Over the course of the last few months...specifically this month...I have experienced my usual (every 4 years) cynicism over the ability of the church to engage the world in ways that are actually helpful. All it takes is an election and the claws come out. Seemingly intelligent people begin to spew unintelligent thoughts, stereotypes and slander...all in the name of politics.

What irks me to no end is that many people who claim Jesus as Lord so align themselves with either party that the lines between the upside down kingdom of Christ and the kingdoms of this world blur beyond recognition. Forgetting ourselves, we enter discussions as if we don't bear the name of Christ FIRST over the candidate of your choosing.

Don't believe me? Check out Facebook. Facebook has been filled with venomous spewing from Christians. Upon reading it I have the feeling I have had in History class when we've studied witch hunts, Nazi Germany, American slavery, women's rights and civil rights. When you read some of our past it is almost shocking to imagine how any intelligent person could allow themselves the choice of looking the other way. Some of the stereotypes I have read on Facebook this week from my Christian brothers and sisters make me so sad. I know we get caught up in emotion. Emotion does weird things to us. I, of all people, am guilty of this. But when we're putting out messages like--all those on welfare are lazy and worthless, Obama is the anti-Christ, northerners are just minions of Satan, etc...something is very wrong.

These are but a few of the remarks I've seen just in the last two days. Multiple others suggesting Obama IS Satan, he will bring about the end of the world, our nation has now collapsed, etc. And I want to just say, SERIOUSLY??? It is in times like this that a big, huge roll of duct tape would come in handy.

First of all, regarding some of those remarks above, I know several people who are surviving on welfare. They are neither lazy nor are they worthless. How can any child of God call another human being worthless? And...I'm pretty sure my northern born and raised wife would take exception to the comment about northerners.

All the while, people who might be interested in a different way of life...a Jesus life...watch us as we spout off and make broad, sweeping generalizations about each other. Even worse, we call our President "Satan". Tell me...would you want any part of that? People make a big deal about the Westboro Baptist Church and Fred Phelps (for good reason!). But, my fear is, we're a lot closer to that than we'd like to believe.

My prayer is that we can unify for the betterment of our country and our world. Let's be agents of peace...showing with our lives that we truly DO trust God. Proving our trust in Him, let us set aside fear and the negativity that's being spewed out everywhere. Turn your swords into plowshares and put your Christianity where your mouth is.

I pray that Barak Obama would lead us well. I pray that God will bless his family. I pray that everyday he would trust Christ more and more. I pray for wisdom and discernment for him and our leaders. And I pray that God would heal our land. Move in us, Lord Jesus and forgive us for being so blind to your ways!

Election Day 2012

It's Coming!!

Here are some scenes from last year's "Here With Us" at the Paramount. This year's celebration is only ONE month from today!!! I'm getting excited! I hope these will be a nice teaser for what is coming this year... (photo cred to Debbie Riggs at Pure Photography)

Here With Us 2012

Hey everyone--make plans now to be at the Paramount Theater on December 2nd at 6:30! Be sure to bring your friends and arrive early for seats! This will be an incredible evening of worship with the worship choir, band, Jonathan Storment and guest artists "The Light Parade". Don't miss it!

Restoration

Some very exciting things are happening at Highland and in Abilene. Recently the leadership brought a new vision statement to the church for the next 20 years. It all revolves around restoration...restoration of Highland (people's hearts, marriages, community, even physical remodeling), restoration of Abilene (ending systemic homelessness through a "housing first" model, growing our satellite campuses Freedom Fellowship and Grace Fellowship, adopting a school, etc.), and restoring the world (partnering with Eternal Threads in helping girls get out of sex trafficking in Napal and other areas, building water wells in Africa, and supporting ministries like CenterPeace which help broken hearts heal).

We are currently in the middle of a 40 Days of Prayer initiative which began last Wednesday night as members of Highland spread out all over Abilene to pray together for this city. Our Director of Communication (Matt Pinson) took some of the video footage from those prayer locations (including our two satellite campuses, Grace and Freedom) and used a prayer written by one of our Highland members, Lauren Cunningham, to tie it all together. We showed this on Sunday and I absolutely loved it! I wanted to share it with all of you...

This is my prayer for Highland from Highland Church on Vimeo.

Hands Reaching Around the World

Over the course of the last week my blog was linked to stories on NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, The London Daily, The Christian Chronicle, and the NY Times. It is another reminder of the power of the written word. But the power of that blog (see below "If Tomorrow Never Comes") was not the written word. It was the Living Word.

In my tribute to Diana Reed it is easy to see that the real star of that story is Jesus. Diana and Wayne's faith and trust in Jesus served as a lens from which to view all of the messiness and difficulties of life. They made a choice to believe in the restoration power that God provides in the hope of one day tasting  the true restoration of our bodies and souls.

I apologize to members of the media for going under ground these last few days. In order to respect the family's privacy many agreed not to be interviewed. (Unfortunately, I had already given an interview with News Channel 5 in Nashville which I asked them not to air, but they did anyway.) As I listened to each reporter's voice mail I was struck with the same themes over and over.

"Tell us more about Diana Reed and her strength to overcome the battles they faced." 

"We want the world to hear about this amazing women and her journey." 

"Tell us more about Diana's faith." 

"Can you describe the love story of Wayne and Diana Reed?"

These all kind of speak for themselves, don't they? It's not often that you get a call from a NY Times reporter wanting to hear about the amazing life and faith of one of your friends. While none of those interviews were granted, they did lift quotes from this blog and link the stories back here. I am just thankful that people all over the world were able to hear about the incredible life Diana lived. And, mine is only a tiny piece of a huge novel that friends could write about this amazing woman...friends who were Diana's closest confidants like Pat Ward. They can testify to the daily faith that Diana and Wayne have embodied.

If there's one thing that connects us all, it's death. We're struck by the tragedy. We feel empathy. We grieve along side those who grieve. We get frustrated by what seems to be an injustice. We ask questions...primarily, "Why??" And we all want to know how to make sense of this. In this instance, hands reached around the world to rally and support the Reed family. Diana's life mattered. It rippled every day in quiet waves of grace and kindness. It continues to ripple now highlighting the story she devoted her life to.

As my friend Josh Graves (minister at Otter Creek Church in Nashville) wrote this week,

"Death reminds us that we do not ever lose control, we lose the illusion that we were ever in control to begin with. To die is to let go, and trust that the God who spoke you into being is going to see you through into the next great chapter of life. The life that will not end."

If Tomorrow Never Comes

It is within each of us as human beings to be forgetful. Since the beginning of human history we have exercised that right. We forget the truth. We forget the wonders of God. We forget people. We forget our keys. It is innate in the human condition to see through the glass dimly...and herald it as clarity. It is human propensity to build bigger barns, to swear by tomorrow and to forget the truth that we are but a blade of grass...here today and gone tomorrow. What makes us unique is that the All-powerful Jehovah God has this crazy crush on us. He is willing to look foolish for us. He stalks us. He calls us at all hours of the night. He sends us love letters in a painted sky. He gave up His own Son for our worthless souls...not worthless at all to Him.

We make plans for the future based on what seems most likely to happen. Often we begin to live in a deluded sense of reality that tells us we can certainly predict what's coming. To put it fairly, it's pretty understandable that we would end up in that place. God has given us a sense of discernment and we often try to exercise that muscle in figuring out how to plan for the future. We invest our money, make the right choices, build the best houses, and select the right friends to help us on this journey. And, often our intuition is justified by things playing out exactly as we had hoped or thought.

Then there are days...moments...seconds...where all the air is sucked out of the room, where you hear words like "cancer" or "stroke" or "you've been found out." It's in those exact moments you truly get in touch with your own finite nature.

Some friends of ours in Nashville are going through the pain of that realization right now. Wayne Reed was diagnosed over 20 years ago with with Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS). For years, his hilarious, beautiful and full of life wife, Diana, has cared for him. Most of us could foresee the way this was going. Wayne, with ALS, wouldn't last...no one does. Generally speaking, that disease causes rapid decline. Friends prepared for the worst. Well, 20 years later, Wayne is still with us. He has had a very difficult road physically and emotionally over those years. Diana has been his strength. She fought through the battles with grace and laughter. Always quick witted, she asked hard questions and chose to LIVE life. Then, in an oxygen suck moment, Diana found herself in the hospital struggling through Meningitis. Over the course of the last week she has gone from someone brimming with life to someone in the process of passing from this life to the next. Her brain couldn't take the stress. After a series of strokes they moved her to Hospice care. Wayne, one of the longest surviving patients with ALS, there by her side. What plan does this fit into? I ask you, in what world does this make sense??

It is a mirror we find ourselves peering into right now. An image that makes a little more sense when put into context...we are finite. We are, as Psalm 103:15 puts it, "like grass. We flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more." Again, THIS is reality. And if we stop there, it's pretty dang depressing. But what makes us unique is that God loves us...so much. Crazy love!  Psalm 103:10-14 says this:

He does not treat us as our sins deserve

or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As as father has compassion on his children,

so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

for he knows how we are formed,

he remembers that we are dust.

If there is ANYTHING in our lives more important than His love for us or our love for Him, it will fade away. No matter how well thought out your life may be, no matter what treasures you have laid up for yourselves, no matter how much education you can complete, no matter what job you have, house you have, car you drive, city you live in, or how fat your wallet, the one and only thing that lasts is His love. An investment in His love is the only thing that yields lasting results.

So, I guess the questions I'm asking myself today are...how much are you depending on Jesus? How much are you relying on the things of this world to bring happiness? How much time are you spending telling people how much you love them...how much God loves them? How committed are you to finding peace and Life only in Him?

To close, here is a Facebook status that my friend Sandra Collins wrote about Diana. It was about the most perfectly worded thing I have ever read describing her. I'll close with sharing this. Please pray for the Reed family...Wayne, Diana, Eric and Kevin.

The skies joined the grieving today and soaked the ground, as Diana Reed began to leave us. Diana was like Jacob, Job, the OT prophets, and the Psalmists. She wrestled with God, she argued and shouted, she asked where He was, she yelled, "How long?" and she soaked her pillows with tears. Yet, just like all of them, she did not quit believing. And though she was so tired, so exhausted, she did not quit serving.

Her brilliance amazed me. She was an avid reader who devoured books of all kinds (after opening and smelling them) and wrestled with the content. She had a quick, loud, and hearty laugh. When she was in a class, she was an active participant--responding to what was being said, nodding, shaking her head, smiling, frowning, not taking her eyes off the speaker.

While I have not been one of those close by her bed, spending the night, talking to her and hoping she could hear them, I have been among some of her innumerable friends and acquaintances. In every case, the first word spoken has been, "Unbelievable!" And that is how we all feel. What has transpired in the past week is absolutely unbelievable.

***update: Diana transitioned from this life to the next at about 2:30pm today. Our hearts break for Wayne and the boys. I will miss her laugh and heart. I'm thankful that I knew her.

Experience Conference

I just returned from an awesome week in Orlando at the "Experience Worship" conference. My heart is full!

Here's a clip from last week with Christy Nockels leading worship. I so value this Godly woman's gift in worship remembering the power of the Lord that I felt as she ministered to us as one of our worship leaders at Fellowship Bible in Nashville. I was also convicted while at the conference about my own wife's worship leadership gifting. They are both very gifted leaders and have a very unique calling on their lives. When Christy and Sheryl sing, God does miraculous things. People are freed, walls come down, hearts are softened and healed, brokenness is dealt with, and estrangement from God is relieved. This is a prime example of why we should value women in worship leadership, not just singing. I am a better man for having been led in worship by these two women...a better husband, father, and follower of Jesus.

“The Church is a place of welcome and laughter, of healing and hope of friends and family and justice and new life. It’s where the homeless drop by for a bowl of soup and the elderly stop by for a chat. It’s where one group is working to help drug addicts and another is campaigning for global justice. It’s where you’ll find people learning to pray, coming to faith…finding new purpose, and getting in touch with a new power to carry that purpose out. It’s where people bring their own small faith and discover, in getting together with others to worship the one true God, that the whole becomes greater than the sum of it’s parts.”  ~ N.T. Wright

No Pit Too Deep

During World War II, Betsie Ten Boom, sister of (later) famous author Corrie Ten Boom, lay dying in a Nazi work camp. As she was dying she urged her sister Corrie to forgive...to forgive those who were causing torture, pain and death. She wanted to infuse a dose of God's reality into Corrie's world view. Maybe my all-time favorite quote was Betsie's in that moment to Corrie. "There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still." That, my friends, is the power of Jesus. Impossible love. Impossible grace. The Ten Boom story has shaped my life in Jesus for more than 30 years. Wherever you are today, however far you feel from God, remember: " There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still."

Companioning

Are you or are any of your friends walking a path of mourning right now? Here are some excerpts from a book called "The Handbook for Companioning the Mourner: Eleven Essential Principles":

Companioning is about being present to another person's pain; it is not about taking the pain away.

Companioning is about going to the wilderness of the soul with another human being; it is not about finding the way out.

Companioning is about honoring the spirit; it is not about focusing on the intellect.

Companioning is about listening with the heart; it is not about analyzing with the head.

Companioning means discovering the gifts of sacred silence, it does not mean filling up every moment with words. (I love this)

Companioning is about respecting disorder and confusion; it is not about order and logic.

Companioning is about learning from others; it is not about teaching them.

~these suggestions are good in friendship and ministry...whether it's dealing with grief or not! Thanks to Craig Fisher for sharing these with me last night. Blessings to you all!

Heavenly Gatherings

This October will mark 21 years since my father died. Over those years I have had maybe 3 or 4 dreams, vivid dreams, where my father visited me. These dreams are never about past events, they're always current. They've always been completely impacting. 

I remember the first one...3 years after he died while I was in a crisis of faith and performing on one of the Norwegian Cruise Line ships. In the dream he and I walked through a field and talked about life and doubt and faith. It rocked my world. 

It's been years since I've had another dream, even though I have longed to, but I did this past Saturday night. It was so real...hearing his voice, seeing his expressions, getting a hug. In this dream, we were in the town where my father is buried and after coming out of a store a car pulled up to the curb and Ronnie Lorenz who was one of Dad's best friends was driving and rolled down the window and said, "What do you think about this?!" Dad jumped out, grabbed me and hugged me. We laughed through tears. He wept as he met the kids and Sheryl and hugged them. It was all so real. I woke up very early Sunday morning and couldn't go back to sleep. My heart was beating 90 mph. I felt so excited. Wow...it just made me long for the day when we're all together. Thank you, God, for allowing me to have that little taste of Heaven. 

Oh...and, um, this is awkward, but R2-D2 was also in the dream. Yes, R2-D2. The robot. I mean, did you seriously think my dad could come visit with me in a dream without there being some bizzare-o feature. :) 

I Cannot Stay Silent

What a week this has been! And all over a fried piece of chicken and some waffle fries. However, if we step back a minute and look at the events of this week, it's pretty easy to see that in the end, the issue is not the issue. It's kind of like in marital counseling when a couple comes in who is at an impasse over a certain issue. Upon further examination or after a little digging you realize that the issues underneath "the issue" are really fueling the problem.

I have watched as Facebook went CRAZY this week with convicted people on both sides hurling insults, accusations, generalizations, etc. Then, interestingly, after the issues grew and morphed, many tried to come back and say...this is only about Dan Cathey's right to free speech. (As an aside, I support Dan's rights and his faith. I believe that he sincerely shared his heart and then his comments were used to fuel a war...for both left and right.) 

Here's where this all gets sticky. Yes, on some level this all began with Dan's right to share...which was not helped by the dumb mayors of Chicago and Boston. But it didn't end there.  And, unfortunately, the LGBT community weren't the only ones who made a big stink about it (as some have said). I'd say the responsibility went both ways. The religious right took all of this and used it just as much as the other side. And, perception is reality...especially when it comes to the way we love the LGBT community.

Whether we like it or not, this has turned into a we vs. they kind of deal. I wish you guys could be privy to my inbox today and the heart-wrenching conversations I've had with people...all who feel so hurt and angry over the hubbub yesterday...people who struggle, friends of people who struggle, parents of kids who struggle...all feeling so frustrated, hurt, irritated, etc. It may have started out to be about civil liberties but isn't it funny how when it's YOUR civil liberties in question it feels justifiable to rant?  

The bridges to the LGBT community have been blown to Hell so many times (and I mean that literally) by well-intentioned Christians that it's barely able to be navigated anymore. We have such a LONG way to go in communicating love to that community and we are at such a deficit with them already that anything that smacks of us against them is hurtful...even under the most innocent of motives. 

I am attaching a link here that has been widely circulated and as Lynn Anderson has said, is one of the most thoughtful responses to this whole event. Chic-Fil-A entry 

I know Brent Bailey well. He is a Godly man who is struggling with his own brokenness and desires and who wants to live a life that is pleasing to God (as we all hope to). He never chose to feel the things he feels. He's merely seeking to know how to honor God as he works out all of those things. Imagine being in his shoes and reading posts like the ones that "well meaning" Christians have posted over the last 24 hours. No wonder so many people in the LGBT community won't set their feet anywhere near a church building. 

Dan Cathey had a right to say what he did and I appreciate greatly his faith. But when forces outside his control took it over...on both sides...the issue was no longer the issue...no matter what we may think. And we, as true followers of God who are called to deeper things MUST learn to respond in love. Always. So, the arguments now about how this is not about gay people...it's about religious liberties...don't mean a lot to me. I think it WAS about that in the beginning, but it morphed. (And not only because of rantings by the LGBT community...Christians too.) 

I deeply and profoundly appreciate my religious freedom, but I would always hope I could stand up for a person OVER my own freedom. It doesn't mean if you ate at Chic-Fil-A that you're bad...heck, I love their food! It just means that sometimes we have to take a deep breath and realize there is more at play here and that precious, precious souls are watching...waiting...wondering how the faith community will react. When already so wounded by churches, the lines are too easy to cross and it's OUR responsibility to discern those.